Why Missing the Goal Doesn’t Mean You Failed

Katie didn’t win her competition. Allen trained for 8 weeks to hit his 5K goal and missed it by 2 seconds.

But does missing the goal mean you failed?

In this episode of Cheese Curds & Coffee, Allen and Katie return after a 6-month break for Season 2, Episode 17 of the podcast. This is also the beginning of a new chapter for the show as they restart the conversation around fitness, marriage, personal growth, money, business, community, and building a life in real time.

The cold open says it best:

“You never really fail as long as you can learn something.”

This week gave Allen and Katie two very real examples of coming up short.

Katie finished a competition and did not walk away with the win. But inside the disappointment were signs of progress: handstand push-ups, a run that surprised her, and evidence that her fitness is still moving forward even when the leaderboard does not tell the whole story.

Allen tested his 5K after 8 weeks of training and missed his goal by 2 seconds. That could have easily become a failure story. But the week also included the effort, the sunrise, the walk back, the Gatorades, the training, and the reminder that progress is not always measured by the final result.

This episode is about missing a goal without missing the lesson.

Sometimes the scoreboard says you missed.
Sometimes the clock says you came up short.
Sometimes the leaderboard says you did not win.
Sometimes the outcome does not match the effort.

But your body, your habits, your mindset, your effort, your consistency, your marriage, your discipline, and your next decision may all be telling a different story.

In this episode, Allen and Katie talk honestly about disappointment, fitness goals, competition, running, CrossFit, mindset, consistency, personal growth, and how to keep going after a near miss.

This is not a conversation about pretending the result does not matter. Goals matter. Winning matters. Times matter. Effort matters. But the result is not the only thing that counts.

Katie shares what she learned from competing, not winning, and still finding moments that proved the work is working. Allen shares what it felt like to train for 8 weeks, test his 5K, and miss his goal by 2 seconds — and how he chose to tell himself a better story about the effort.

Together, they explore a question almost everyone has faced:

What do you do when you worked hard and still did not get the result you wanted?

Do you call the whole thing a failure?
Do you erase the effort?
Do you quit?
Or do you look for the evidence that the work still counted?

This episode is for anyone working toward a goal, trying to stay consistent, starting over, training for something, building confidence, or learning how to separate disappointment from failure.

It is for the person who missed the number on the scale.
It is for the person who did not hit the time they wanted.
It is for the person who lost the competition.
It is for the person who fell short on a habit.
It is for the person who is trying to become healthier, stronger, more disciplined, more confident, or more consistent — and needs to remember that one missed goal does not erase the work.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why missing the goal does not mean you failed
• How to keep going after disappointment
• Katie’s competition recap and what she learned from not winning
• Allen’s 5K test after 8 weeks of training
• What it feels like to miss a goal by 2 seconds
• How to separate disappointment from failure
• Why the leaderboard does not tell the whole story
• How fitness goals reveal who you are becoming
• What to do when the result does not match the effort
• How to keep going after a near miss
• Why progress is not always obvious in the moment
• How to find evidence that the work is still working
• Why one missed goal should not erase weeks of effort
• How to use disappointment as feedback instead of proof that you should quit
• Why consistency matters more than one result
• How marriage, fitness, and personal growth all connect
• Why the next decision matters more than the last outcome

The bigger lesson:

You can miss the goal and still be making progress.
You can be disappointed and still be proud.
You can fall short and still be becoming the person you want to be.
You can learn from the miss instead of letting the miss define you.

This episode also introduces the renewed direction for Cheese Curds & Coffee.

The show is a weekly running journal with Allen and Katie — part real-life recap, part classroom, part coaching conversation. They are not teaching from the mountaintop. They are learning from the middle of the climb.

Each week, they talk about what happened in their actual life, what it revealed, and how the lesson can help listeners build stronger bodies, clearer minds, better relationships, more financial peace, and a more intentional life.

The new tagline:

Enjoy the life you have. Build the life you want.

That is the heart of the show.

It is not about waiting until life is perfect before you enjoy it.
It is not about chasing goals so hard that you miss the life you already built.
And it is not about pretending growth does not matter.

It is about learning how to live in the tension between gratitude and ambition.

You can enjoy the life you have and still build the life you want.
You can be thankful for where you are and still take the next step.
You can miss a goal and still keep going.

Weekly Challenge:

Think of one goal you recently missed.

Before you call it a failure, write down three pieces of evidence that the work still counted.

Ask yourself:

What improved?
What did I learn?
Where did I show up differently?
What did this reveal?
What am I ready to try again?
What is the next rep?

Then choose one next action.

Not a full life overhaul.
Not a shame spiral.
Not starting over from zero.

Just the next rep.

Because missing the goal does not mean you failed.

It might be the moment that teaches you how to keep going.

Episode Keywords:

personal growth, self improvement, fitness motivation, goal setting, consistency, discipline, habits, mindset, growth mindset, CrossFit, running motivation, 5K training, missing goals, failure is feedback, how to keep going, fitness goals, marriage podcast, couples podcast, life design, intentional living, building a better life, Cheese Curds and Coffee, Allen and Katie, enjoy the life you have, build the life you want

🎙️ Thanks for listening to Cheese Curds & Coffee! If you enjoyed today’s episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who could use a little inspiration.

✨ Connect with us on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content, tips, and community updates: @cheesecurdsandcoffee

💬 Join the conversation, share your wins, and let us know how you’re turning life’s mess into momentum—one challenge at a time.

Transcript

Cold Open

SPEAKER_02 0:00

You never really fail if it as long as you can learn something.

SPEAKER_04 0:02

As you age, Lightchile has a tendency to take things from you, like hair. It wasn't because I didn't have the fitness, it was because I doubted myself. Do you have a fear of failure? I saw myself as a failure in relationships and a failure in money.

Welcome Back

SPEAKER_04 0:21

Hi everybody, welcome back to Cheese Curse and Coffee. My name is Alan Thompson. I am joined by the beautiful, talented, bilingual, powerful, strong, wonderful wife of mine, Katie Thompson, star of the show.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Hello.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

With her new haircut, which we're going to talk about. If you're if this is your first time joining us on Cheese Curds and Coffee, thank you for joining us. For those of you who have listened to the podcast or watch us on YouTube, welcome back. Where have we been?

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Busy. Busy. Doing life.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

Busy with life.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Making changes like we always do.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

All the same thing. Yeah, all the things. But a little bit different setup on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Like physical setup or like how we're doing things?

unknown 1:09

Both.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Both. Still focused on health, wealth, happiness, and how we do those things. But this is now going to be a living journal. A journal that I love journaling. Katie, not so much. But I love the journal. And there's so many lessons every week that I think we take away from what happens and think about and try and improve on things for next week. And we thought this would be a great way to talk about those things, explore those things with you all. And so here we are.

Weekly Headlines: Competition & Haircut

SPEAKER_04 1:41

All right. So Katie, this is our running journal for last week. What were the headlines for you?

SPEAKER_01 1:48

This was a big week. There it started with a pretty significant CrossFit competition for me and for our gym community. We had more athletes than we've ever had register compete, including myself, on a team with some ladies that I met solely to do this competition with. I got my hair cut. I look wildly different. I'm still trying to figure out when I see myself in the mirror who's actually in the reflection. And yeah, it was like close to nine inches cut off. So that's a significant change, at least for me. I'm still working

Gym Staffing Changes

SPEAKER_01 2:26

through that.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Uh let's see, we had some staffing changes at the gym. We have a phenomenal couple who has been coaching with us for a while that's gonna relocate with her family out of state. And that will cause some gaps. But one of our tried and true coaches who has been with us for gosh, even longer than we've had the gym, is excited to be moving into more hours and a role that gives him more time with more

Allen's 5K Goal

SPEAKER_01 2:57

athletes. So that was an awesome transition that I wasn't quite prepared for, but landed very well. I don't know, I missed.

SPEAKER_04 3:08

I think that's a good list.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Well, it's yours.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

Not nearly as excellent as yours. I had this 5K, I was I've been training for a 5K. I have to set this goal of a sub-25 minute 5K. So I spent the last eight weeks working, running, running. I think it was averaging 30 plus miles a week.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Probably. It happens easily when you do seven a day.

SPEAKER_04 3:33

And then ended up testing it on Friday, and I missed my goal about two seconds. Sub-25 minutes, I was like 2501. Yeah, so that happened. And then other than that, just supporting you at the competition, have a great time in the community.

Katie's Training Shift & Hormones

SPEAKER_04 3:49

It was a good week. It was a good week. If I had to ask you the thing that just kept replaying in your mind this past week, what would that what would that be?

SPEAKER_02 3:58

Oh, I forgot.

SPEAKER_01 4:00

So to answer that question, starting this week, I changed how I'm training. So I'm going through some things. I'm in my 40s and my body is changing, and I'm going through phases of womanhood that all women will go through that are not super fun. And for the last couple of years, I've had some hard blood work and hormone levels have been not where I would hope that they would be. So testosterone specifically for me is really, really low, like abnormally low. And as a result, I'm experiencing way more fatigue, not recovering properly, all the things. But so now that the competition is out of the way, that ended on Sunday, took a rest day on Monday, and then starting on Tuesday, I changed my training style. So I'm gonna be doing a ton more strength-based training, layering in a little bit more zone two cardio style training, but really leaning away a little bit from high-intensity MECCons that are pretty common within the CrossFit class space. Still like that style of training, but just adjusting things for myself so that it's either a little bit heavier, fewer reps, more sprint style with more time to recover and rest in between intervals. So for me this week, it was how am I doing this? What am I doing? And what does my now gym routine look like? Sure, sure. Which was pretty different because I'm usually the I just take class. I love having my coach tell me what to do. I love being present with my friends in classes and in the community and working out alongside other people and doing the same thing. But this week was wildly different from a training perspective for me.

Dealing With Failure

SPEAKER_04 5:52

Sure. For me, it was this what happened on Friday, so I guess it's the latter part of the week that really stood out for me. And the purpose of this episode is how we're gonna talk about this idea of we set these goals and we don't necessarily achieve them. We do a bunch of work, we try really hard, and for whatever reason, fatigue. That last mile kicked my butt. But yeah, the this idea that we set these goals and we don't hit them, and then you can feel like a failure. And I had an opportunity to wrestle with that. I knew you kind of had to thought think through that for the competition that you went to. Yeah. How do we deal with failure when you set a goal and you don't reach it?

SPEAKER_02 6:35

I think I guess so.

SPEAKER_04 6:39

Let me ask you this, not to cut you off. What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Oh, I think that there's degrees of failure.

SPEAKER_04 6:45

Sure. No, I I got you.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Did I miss horribly and maybe I need to get better at setting goals, or was I really close, and at which point then can

Katie's Competition Breakdown

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I celebrate the fact that I got fitter, right? Competition.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Yeah. Uh-huh. What was your goal for the competition? And what did not go the way you wanted?

SPEAKER_01 7:09

So my external, the one that was communicated because I just met these women and I trained with them all of two times before we took the competition floor together, was just go out there, do some fitness, give what I had to give, and have some fun and laughs. And all of that we absolutely did, and we had a blast. Internal goals, I know the level of competitor that shows up at this specific event because we've been going for many, many years. And I've competed in this division before. So, you know, I wanted to get to the podium. And I think any competitor that tells you otherwise may be like lying to themselves a little bit, or you at least have some idea of where you want to fall on a leaderboard.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

So, at what point did you say to yourself, hey, this internal goal may not happen? Was there like so it was early?

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Yeah, we took 11th place out of 14 teams in event one. But for us, we also knew that was going to be our lowest performing event because it had some pretty challenging high-skill gymnastics movements, handstand push-ups to be very specific. And it's a movement that I am okay at, but I am not great. And collectively across our team, we had one girl who's really good at them, one girl who said, If you need to tag me in, I can get us a couple. And she did, and we loved that she was able to contribute that because both of us needed that little reprieve. But the way that the programming fell for us, the workout required a hundred hand-stand push-ups, and collectively, the group of three of us in the time domain that the workout gave, we just were not capable.

SPEAKER_04 9:00

What what when you when that happened, and you look at the leaderboard, and I know we're sitting in the, I don't say corral, but we're sitting in the area where all the athletes and friends and family are hanging out. And you look at the leaderboard, like what emotion came up for you in that moment relative to the goal that you set internally?

SPEAKER_01 9:20

It's funny because I was disappointed. I we performed better on the floor than we did when we practiced. And we left feeling this high, or at least I did. I can't speak, you know, on behalf of the other women. But for me, I was so elated. My individual performance, I did exceptional relative to my capabilities, better at handstand push-ups on the floor than I have ever done inside my gym trying to train. I never got myself to the point of failure, which again, for me, that was like a massive accomplishment because working within the team, we don't want to get to the breaking point because it's harder to come back if you're actually at muscle failure. So riding high, leaving the floor, this was a really great performance for me. It felt really good to do that with these other women. And then when I see the score on the leaderboard, I thought, man, I thought we did good and we did better than we practiced, and better was only 11th place.

SPEAKER_04 10:24

I think what's really interesting, and unintentionally, subconsciously, maybe, we went on a cruise this year. It was our 10th year together. I don't know if we know if we planned that or subconscious that we did that, but it was just happenstance. So anyway, so we're on this cruise and we're talking about how far we've come in our relationship and life and all those types of things. And I wonder how 10 years ago Katie would have handled a disappointment like that. Because it's interesting, you went through that range of emotions. Like, I'm happy that are you happy that we performed better than we've ever performed ever in the history of the world. To I'm disappointed in my making reaching this goal. How would old Katie have, I don't know, wrestled with that or dealt with that, you think?

SPEAKER_01 11:13

She probably would have been pretty defeated. That probably would have set a tone and then imposter syndrome would have come through of am I actually worthy of being on the floor not knowing my teammates terribly well? Are they disappointed that they picked me as their teammate? Should I have trained harder? What how many days did I take a rest day that I maybe shouldn't have taken a rest day, or did I skip the hard thing because I was feeling lazy or whatever? Like all of that. But honestly, throughout the course of the weekend, I never once did I think, wow, I let these girls down, or they probably wish that they had a different partner. And maybe they do wish they had a different partner. And if you do, sorry. But I don't think that's true because we're already talking about maybe other companies. Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_04 12:03

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 12:03

But yeah, I I've grown tremendously in, I think a lot of that is just being in the fitness space and like the things that I test my body with in the gym carries over into so much of our everyday life that like my mental fortitude, my my ability to bounce back from hardship has gotten easier because physically I know I can do hard things.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yeah. Watching it from the outside, it was even the first workout, I think, like you said, was spectacular. Your handstand push-ups like that particular movement. Fantastic. I'd never seen you do that many that close together.

unknown 12:50

Me neither.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

Later on, um, the snatch workout that you did, or the complex that you guys did, that it was just I thought you were phenomenal all weekend. And at no point was I ever disappointed in your performance, regardless of what the leaderboard said, which I think just speaks volumes to like when I think back about 10 years ago where you were to now, it's just it's night and day, and not just physically, but mentally. And I think it's okay to have those moments where you're disappointed because you set a goal, you didn't reach it. But you didn't spiral into this woe was me, let it impact every other. I think it was the first of how many workouts? Six. Yeah. The first of six workouts, but then you showed up for your you didn't spiral, you showed up for your team, you showed up for the people that were counting on you, you showed up for the community anyway, even though this thing that you wanted didn't manifest itself. Because you can't control who shows up. You know what I mean? Yeah, there's some really fit women. I know you can't control what movements get announced, these that and the other thing. So I just thought that was really cool to watch, and it really does mirror what you do outside the gym as well. So proud husband.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

What about you? You had a goal this week, a big one. Yes, you had been training for several weeks, yes. Missed by two seconds.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

How did you feel?

SPEAKER_04 14:25

It was it's so funny. We you and I are so different. It's five o'clock in the morning. I'm by myself out on so out on the road that I normally run on. So no bright lights and crowds and all that. It's not a stage for you. It's not a thing for you. First mile, I was happy with how I felt at the pace I was I was surprised by the pace I was keeping. Second mile, happy with the pace I was keeping. I was surprised by the pace I was keeping. Third mile was just uncomfortable like the whole time. Almost stopped, honestly. Because I was it like it dawned on me that I was I had gone maybe too hot first part and I was getting I was frustrated. I did all that, and I'm gonna I'm gonna come up short. But I didn't I kept I didn't stop, I kept pushing, pushing, pushing, and I came up short. Like I'm long, whatever. I missed it by two seconds. But for me, it's always about just going through the journey. So much of it is just not not just the result, but who I'm becoming in pursuit of that result. So the idea that I can get up most mornings and go for a run and improve my health, improve my fitness. My run route takes me to a beautiful park, I guess, where I get to watch the sun come up if I time it right and so I timed it right that morning. So I was disappointed for sure. That you look at the stop like a press stop on the Nike Run Club app and that thing said 2501. I was just like, I can't believe I did all that.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Did you have any idea? Were you looking? Did you know how close you were?

SPEAKER_04 16:12

I knew how and I thought there would be a kick at the end, and I didn't have it. I had it, but it wasn't enough to overcome that that last mile. Yep. I think I did. Yeah, it was just that last mile really took a lot out of me. So, lesson learned, learned a lot, and so yeah, I was disappointed, finished my the route, walked out to the lake, sat down, put on some music, and watched the sun come up for a little bit, texted you.

SPEAKER_01 16:44

I got a beautiful video of this gorgeous sunrise, and then Alan pumping his arms in excitement and celebration with this gorgeous backdrop.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

Yeah, we'll have to put it. Sorry, folks listening on the podcast, but we'll put it on the YouTube channel so you can see it. But it was a good day. Good start of the day. And then I ended up cooling down, walking back to the gym. Uh stopped and picked up a couple of Gatorades on the way back. It was awesome. So, yes, I'm I think uh similar to you, I was disappointed in the moment, but didn't consider it, don't consider it a failure just because of all the good things that happened in pursuit of the goal and probably take a week off after it again.

Handstand Pushups Deep Dive

SPEAKER_04 17:28

So let's talk about the handstand push-ups. Pretty why were those such a No, I'm saying, but why were those such a gosh, I had this why were they such a highlight for you? Because they were a highlight for me, but I'm curious why they were like that particular thing was a such a highlight for you.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

I guess because it's so difficult. And I just I know from other workouts, there are certain benchmark workouts in CrossFit that test handstand push-ups at high volume in a quick amount of time, which is literally what you're doing in a competition. They're gonna give you high volume and you have to do a whole bunch of them, and you don't get a lot of time to to do that. And I just I have struggled with them because I don't have I have really strong shoulders, but I don't have strong pressing muscles. I don't know, so I can overhead squat, sure, I can get the bar up there, and I can carry load over my head, and I have great stability there, but the actual volume of just repeated pressing at my body weight is really difficult. So last year I had a goal throughout the course of all of 2025 that I wanted to be able to do a strict handstand push-up. That was a terrible goal because I hadn't actually tested to see like how close am I to this. So I know that this is an area of weakness for me. And I know that typically this particular competition programs them. So as I was training and trying to prepare, I would work drills that would just focus on technique during a minute, do a certain number, and then rest the remaining part of the minute. And then the next minute starts, and you do that exact same number and you try to do that for 10 minutes. And so I had been working that. And there were days that I was working on that that I would it would finally click and I would get all the technique right and they felt good and it felt effortless. And then three minutes later, it was like I forgot everything that I was doing, and all of a sudden my body's in this weird place in space, and now I'm having lower back pain while I'm upside down or my arms have started to fatigue, and so like the descent onto my head is hurting, and so all of that. And as I had been practicing, I was deliberate about don't just try and do as many as you can all at once, because that's not gonna do you good, it's not gonna be a benefit for your team. Really drill the technique. So I forced myself, and at no point did I try to test how many I can do unbroken without stopping. And I think the very first set that I did was like seven or something like that, which I've never done seven unbroken ever.

SPEAKER_04 20:20

I know.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

And then I don't I we have the video I could go back and watch, but I don't know how many total I did throughout the course of the event. I had to take a couple deliberate breaks, but it was for me the reminder that the way I trained was the right way. And it's not just about doing the thing on repeat until you

Gender & Fitness Goals

SPEAKER_01 20:43

break. Yeah. Because if you don't have the actual technique, if you have not built the strength and the mechanics, your volume will never be there.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

I think it's interesting too, and I don't know if this is specific to women, but I just noticed that a lot of women have goals that are associated with moving their body in space or manipulating, you know what I mean? Like a pull-up. I want to get a pull-up, or I want to get a uh push-up that's not modified on my knees. Yep. Strict handstand push-up for you. Why do you think that is? Is that like is that difficult? Is that oh, it's hard as hell. I know, but I don't know. I guess maybe it's easier for guys to do a push-up or give them a pull-up or there's a stigma around it.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Certainly, not the scientist in the room, so don't quote me on this.

SPEAKER_04 21:30

And all of you who might be a stigma about it.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

But I would imagine that just generally the sh the way that our bodies are proportioned, right? Men tend to be a little bit broader on the top, a little bit nick more narrow on the bottom. Pull-ups and that movement in particular, guys tend to carry a little bit more muscle in their back than I would imagine a woman does, unless you're specifically training for that. You look across a globo gym, if you ask every man. In the room, how many of you can do a pull-up unassisted versus how many of the women that are generally in their training? Women have for years been told smaller is better. Cardio cardio, right? We I still to this day am so angry at past me because there was one girl that I grew up with who used to go to the weight room with the boys. And I thought, wow, she's weird. Why would she want to go lift weights? And now I own a gym and I'm like now you're the weird one. Now I'm the weird one that wants to get bulky and have all this muscle. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

So social condition basically has a big part of it. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

But it's it's also it's not easy. Not saying that it's easy for men. No, I'm with you.

SPEAKER_04 22:42

I just curious.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

But I would guess that the percentage of men that can do a push-up off of their knees or the percentage of men that can do a pull-up is likely significantly higher than that of the percentage of women.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

No, I gotcha. And I think it goes back to that social conditioning part. At least my experience has been the goals that men set are different, like bench press 220.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

I was just gonna say, you want a bench with two plates. I just would love to be able to bodyweight pinch post at some point in my life.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

Was there a moment in this competition that surprised you other than the handstand push-up? I remember one specifically for me, that's all you do. But was there a moment that surprised you?

SPEAKER_01 23:19

For me, the run surprised me, but I think that was my own fault because I was afraid of going out too hot. And my portion of the run, I had to go in and out of some water. The very first time that I did that to get around the buoy, the water was literally up to my neck and there was a little bit of an undertow. And so there was a couple, probably 15 seconds or so that I just wasn't moving. I I couldn't, I had feet on the ground or on the sand, but even trying to swim, the undercurrent was pulling me back towards the buoy, and I was like, this is not good. If I get to the second buoy after sprinting in between these on the sand run, if I'm this fatigued and back in the water up to my neck, not going to be a good situation for me. So I held back, and then that second buoy was not even remotely in the same depth of water. And I also didn't realize that my partner was waiting almost as soon as I got out of that water. So I should have given way more on my sprint. I love that for you to run faster.

SPEAKER_04 24:26

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

But ultimately, our chip timer didn't work anyway. And we got a score. We got a score, but it's whatever.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

Yeah, it worked out. So that's interesting. I love that for you.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

But what's yours? For oh, the one You said you something came to mind for you. What is it?

SPEAKER_04 24:44

Oh surprised me. The complex that you hit at 155.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Why did that surprise you?

SPEAKER_04 24:52

So Katie and I have a history at these competitions a couple years ago. She had a plan going into a specific workout. She chatted with some random woman in the back during warmups and shifted the plan. And subsequently, her whole performance on the floor just kind of fell apart. And I still think we're hanging on to that memory. But I think she's one of the like she's a better lifter than me technique wise, like hands down. If you watch the two of us pick up a barbell, she is ten times the lifter I am from a technique standpoint. And she'll probably catch me in the number like the strength standpoint at some point. But there was a complex in this competition where I thought, oh man, she might set a personal best on this, I think, jerk. Clean jerk, right? Yeah, it was clean jerk. And so she's back in the warm-up area, doing her thing, came, had a plan. The warmup didn't necessarily go as great as she wanted to. And she was like adamant about sticking to this plan because of this little thing that happened two years ago or three years ago, whatever it was. And I was like, honey, I think you got a PR on that floor. So you should move. You should move like you got the move with the opportunity. Like if you have the opportunity, you should go for it. And you get out there, and your team smokes this thing. Like your other two competitors, they do their job, they hit their lift. They hit their lift. And Katie's an anchor. She's supposed to lift the most weights that you can tell by the muscles or her father. She's supposed to hit the big weights on this complex. And the first one smoked it. Beautiful. Second one, smoked it. And then you had time. She had time to go for this personal best, and she didn't take advantage of it. And I'm super proud of you. But that what sticks out in my mind is I think we're hanging on to some stuff that happened two or three years ago. My heart rate was. You asked me. You asked me. You asked me.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

There is no, I would have hurt myself.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Is there one part of the workout or the competition from the weekend that you could just say it was a private win? And I think you touched on this earlier when you said, hey, I was disappointed, but you leaned into these, like this thing to say, hey, I'm doing really well. And I don't need to look at the fact that I missed this goal. I know I'm better than I used to be. Is there one thing that sticks out for you?

SPEAKER_01 27:25

I don't think there's a single moment. I think it was the whole weekend, all of the performance. Our best placement was our very last event. I was the most exhausted. It was the one that I was the least excited about, if I'm being very candid. It was the one one of the girls was the most excited about, and the other two of us did not like that workout at all.

SPEAKER_04 27:47

And it was your best performance. And it was our best performance of the weekend. You were in first.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

We were in first for a long time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

Finished third on the legs blew out. You did 25 wall balls in a row, which had never happened before. Correct. Crazy. Yeah.

Allen's Race Day Recap

SPEAKER_04 28:08

So for me, 5K week. So the goal goaling into the 5K was again 25 minutes. Sub-25. To say I've been working on it for eight weeks isn't exactly accurate. Like I started this uh Nike Run Club plan, but I think I set my personal best like a year ago, maybe. I think it was a year ago. And man, there's a lot riding on this run for some reason. There's so much going on, right? Part of it is I'm getting older. I turn 48 in a few weeks. In a month. And it's interesting, as you age, life has a tendency to take things from you, like hair.

SPEAKER_00 28:56

Testosterone.

SPEAKER_04 28:57

Testosterone. And so part of this is just making sure I can be as healthy as I can. I may lose my hair, but can I get faster on a 5K or whatever? Can I get healthier? Can I get stronger? All those things. So I've been waffling around, testing it again, because I did it last year, and I knew it was gonna hurt, be uncomfortable, and all those things. And it was just like, okay, I'm gonna set this goal, I'm gonna get this thing done, I'm gonna show up, and I'm gonna go get it and go get after it. And again, missed it by two seconds. Because it wasn't because I didn't have the fitness, it was because I doubted myself.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Yeah, those two seconds would have come back.

SPEAKER_04 29:48

And it might have been it might have been more than a moment, it might have been two minutes to thought about slow way down. But just this idea that that momentary disappointment, I didn't have to wallow in it. I just had to really think about all the good things that had happened since I started training for it. And I think I maybe it probably took me, I don't know, two minutes, three minutes to walk down to the bench and sit down, watch the sun come up. I was better by then. So it might have been the shortest disappointment in the history of disappointments. I don't know. I don't know, maybe yours was shorter, but it's a right it was the right goal to set, and I love the effort of pursuing it. I love the effort that I put out, I'm proud of it, and yeah, looking forward to doing it again. Looking forward to doing it again. What would you say to someone like your husband who set a goal missed it?

Lessons on Setting Goals

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Why'd we miss it? How far away was it? What did we learn from it?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

All the things that you need to sit with, right? Again, if we go back to the beginning of what we were talking about, was this a moonshot goal and we were we had no business actually thinking that we were gonna accomplish that? Was that my strict handstand push-up? Because we not there and it's gonna take more than a year to get there. Or is this a two seconds off, and that's a matter of my shoelace came untied, or I had a moment of self-doubt as I approached mile number three. And then again, what'd we learn? We learned that we're capable.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

Yeah. I think we can sometimes have a really bad way to measure progress. Like when I think about your story about the competition and this goal that you had of making a podium. Which oh hardly laugh.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

It's just silly. It's not silly, it's not a silly goal. It's silly because it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

It's literally the Atlantic Coast Classic. I so we didn't win money, we don't win. I'm not a professional athlete that needs that to advance my career and make sure that my sponsors keep me like that's why I think it's silly.

SPEAKER_04 32:31

I think we really have an opportunity to measure progress in a couple different ways, or measure our goals in a couple different ways. We can have a goal that says, hey, I gotta win this thing, or hey, I gotta make the podium, or hey, I have to be sub-25 minutes. But we can also set goals to help us achieve that goal. I'm gonna show up and run six times a week. I'm gonna show up and be consistent on my handstand push-up practice. I'm gonna show up and practice these workouts with my teammates. I'm gonna show up and work on my lifting, which we didn't even talk about, which is why you have the muscles that you go. And I thought you could hit a 165-pound cleaning jerk on that competition floor. It's because you set the goal of getting on the podium, but you also set the goal of showing up and working on those things. And I sometimes think we get fixated on this idea that it's only about the result. The result. And we never talk about action-oriented goals or progress goals. Man, I just gotta show up five times a week. I gotta show up for myself. I have to, if I make commitments to myself, do I honor them? Now, if I'm doing that five times a week, you're gonna be pretty damn close to hitting your goal. You know what I mean? And at least that's what happened for me, and I think that led directly to minimizing the amount of time I spun around disappointment. And maybe it minimized the amount of time you spun around disappointment too. Because even within the pursuit of that goal of making the podium, you were winning at these other things because you showed up and you practiced. It wasn't some it wasn't luck, it wasn't a miracle, it wasn't like you know, it wasn't any of those things. You know what I mean? That makes sense. I agree.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

We don't always agree, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 34:28

So what as we think about this past week, I guess what counted this week, even though we may not have hit the goal, you didn't take a whole bunch of time off.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Yeah, that's a big thing, right? I didn't decide I'm not hitting the podium, and then I'm just gonna be done and hang up my I've retired from my day, so we can get there. Um, but it's interesting because I'm working through a period of transition, and how I'm going to be training now is definitely not in pursuit of trying to podium out of competition. Like four months from now, as I'm into heavy strength training and very limited MECCons, I will likely be a terrible teammate for someone that wants to go to a CrossFit competition.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

Maybe we'll see. Because you're also gonna start running more. Zone two.

SPEAKER_01 35:29

Zone two is not what you do for running training. But a hear you, I will be interested to see how my progress takes shape. But now I'm trying to literally increase my muscle mass. And in doing that, I am hopeful that my testosterone levels will get back into the, even if it's a low normal or a moderate range.

SPEAKER_04 35:58

Is there any concern or worry or fear about being a failure or failing at this endeavor? Do you even think about that as failing at my next six months of what's coming? The next competition you do. Are you worried you might be you might fail at it? Is that something that even crosses your mind or you think about why not?

SPEAKER_00 36:23

I guess I don't I don't I don't know what failure would look like.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

I guess you set a goal to make the podium next year at ACC and you don't make it.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

Yeah, I guess I I don't consider that a failure.

SPEAKER_04 36:38

Why not?

SPEAKER_01 36:39

Because I've done all sorts of other things in the pursuit of getting to the There's probably gonna be some other wins. There's probably gonna be something I can celebrate.

SPEAKER_04 36:48

I can celebrate the pursuit of it. You can celebrate anything you want, right? Eight weeks from now, or nine weeks, because I'm probably gonna take a week to just do some zone two runs and chill and relax. But nine weeks from now, I'm gonna go out there again. I'm gonna give it a go. Hopefully,

Fear of Failure

SPEAKER_04 37:08

I might you know, hopefully I make it. That's the goal.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

But do you have a fear of failure?

SPEAKER_04 37:13

Not even remotely.

SPEAKER_02 37:16

Why do you think that is? Neither of us are afraid of failure.

SPEAKER_01 37:23

I don't even know. I had to ask you what failure was.

SPEAKER_04 37:26

Yeah. I think we have become in love with the process of it. Like enjoying the journey of it. I know Katie and I have had this conversation a lot a lot recently about the myth of delayed gratification and this idea that you can be full of gratitude just for showing up at the gym or just for showing up at the start line or just for the first five minutes of a run. Hey, I made it through the first five minutes for the which are the worst. But as your body transitions from whatever you were doing to realizing now that you're running, it's awful. But to be grateful for that first five minutes, and now you're just in a zone, and now you just now you're just rolling at whatever pace you that you're practicing. So this idea of you can be grateful or fill of gratitude whenever you want and celebrate whenever you want. Whenever you show up, whenever you do a thing, whenever you take a step towards your goal, failure doesn't matter. It's not a thing. You know, it's who we become in pursuit of the goal that matters even more. And I think we're to the point now where it's not that failure's not an option. Failure isn't a consideration. And I think about some of the challenges that we're gonna have to deal with next year when it comes to the business and things that we're gonna have to kind of work through. And the same sort of thought process applies for me, anyway. We're gonna set a goal and we're gonna do the best we can, and we're gonna learn a lot, and we're gonna try a bunch of things, and we're gonna show up every day, and we're gonna lean into it, and we're gonna celebrate the wins and be full of gratitude, and whatever happens at the end happens at the end. And that's that's it. That's I don't know what else to what do you think?

SPEAKER_01 39:29

Yeah, I totally agree. I love that perspective. I love that we've learned how to do that, and that we support each other in that.

SPEAKER_04 39:38

It's so weird to think about. I've never interesting question to think through. I don't know if this has always been the case for me. We met 10 years ago-ish, and like I said, I'm a journaler, and to go back and read my journal from that back then, I definitely did not have the same view of things. I saw myself as a failure in relationships and a failure in money, and a failure of just a lot of things. So yeah, it's been quite the transition for me. I don't even think about it now. Or I think about it differently. Shifting gears a little bit. So some changes happening at the gym as far as the team, the coaches, and whatnot. What

Coaching Transition at the Gym

SPEAKER_04 40:33

was your first reaction when you found out that they were leaving? And how did you kind of process all that?

SPEAKER_01 40:42

So I found out that one of our regular coaches got a job offer to go coach out of state. And immediately I felt sad for our gym, but at the exact same moment, so excited for her because we have had numerous conversations, she and I, and about her goals and what she wants to accomplish professionally, and this new business opportunity for her going into a different environment puts her directly in contact with the people who can springboard that goal to life rather than hanging out with us here and trying to do these things on a different timetable. So, from that perspective of as a business owner and as a person who works with and develops people, there's nothing greater than being able to watch somebody step into their greatness and do the things that they have set out to do. So I loved that. Yep. But then that gave me the anxiety of what does that mean for our gym? And I don't know, CrossFit coaches aren't just like falling off of trees and walking. Yeah, walking in the door every other day, like, hey, do you have a job? I'd like to coach. And then just, are you a good coach? Like, do you mesh well with our community? And so there was a couple weeks where I had this information and we weren't yet sharing it with anybody because we wanted to give the family space to be able to have the necessary conversations. And then once they finally said we've made our decisions and this is how we're gonna proceed, then we could notify our existing staff and our community that we were gonna be experiencing some changes. And as a result, we'd be looking to fill these empty positions or empty classes rather. And to my surprise, one of our phenomenal coaches that's been with us forever before we stepped in as gym owners said, Hey, like I I'd love these shifts and I'm willing to make some adjustments in my own personal life and with another job that I have because I would like to be able to give more of me to the mousetrop community and to one place of employment instead of splitting my time between two. And that was incredible. Like, yeah, I don't I did not expect that to happen because I know that he really enjoys his other employers and he really enjoys the community that he gets to work with and the type of work that he was doing there. And at no point did I think maybe this is you know an option. So I was already trying to process who am I gonna hire? Who do I know in the Orlando Greater CrossFit community that might be looking for some coaching hours and how many hours are you gonna pick up? And what that meant for my own schedule. And I so yeah, it was uh little anxious for for some time as we were working through that, but things have very nicely fallen into place and I think from a community disruption it will be almost non-existent.

SPEAKER_04 44:08

Yeah. Speaking of community, what is a I don't know, what does a moment like this kind of teach you about the community? Like how did you work through or walk through? What lesson can you take away from this?

SPEAKER_01 44:27

I well I always want to protect our people, whether that's our coaches or the members that we have. I know that in our gym space and CrossFit in general, your gym is more than just a gym. It's a social environment. It's people that you consider family that you've become really close to. And there are emotions that are involved with these kinds of changes. And so for me messaging and how to deliver all of that to protect our coaching team and make sure that they are getting support where they need to be supported as things are changing. But then also how do we maintain that balance for our community members? Because it's very different than just walking into a globo gym and scan your little card as you walk through and you go find the equipment that you want and you do your thing by yourself and then leave. You don't have those deep-rooted relationships and friendships that extend beyond I showed up to the gym today and I did a workout.

Community & Gratitude

unknown 45:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:35

You have goals for the gym, goals for the community. It's funny I think one of the best parts of ACC was just the sheer number of people that were there. Friends, family.

SPEAKER_01 45:50

ACC is the prospect competition that we participated in.

SPEAKER_04 45:54

And I just remember mentioning at the competition there's so many people here. We had this big area and you were so proud of the the I showed up on Saturday or no I showed up Friday night at missed competition Friday because I was coaching at the gym and I was like Saturday morning walk in I was like I don't know 40 40 people hanging out here some competitors from the previous day and you said man there were more people Friday and I was just like really celebrating and full of gratitude about just the number of people this that you have opened your opened the doors to and built this community with and during this leadership change or not the coaches changes did you worry at all about the goals that you had set for the community being disrupted? Were you concerned at all that like the the things that you hold most important for the people that walk through the doors would be at risk because of these because of this coaches? I was a little anxious because I want transitions to feel seamless but I also have faith that it's gonna work out the way that it's supposed to and I think the way that it has worked out is the way that it was supposed to now I couldn't have predicted that sure but I guess just trusting in our team trusting in our ability to find good people and trusting in your ability to find good people our we are a partnership yes I just think you've done so much good for this community I know we we purchase a a gym and comes with a bunch of members but it comes with a lot of decisions that you and just to be transparent on what happens we own the gym together but Katie runs the gym 90 finish the finish that number 98% 98% of the decisions she makes on her own and autonomously and she runs that place and leads the community and I just think that you never just for me watching you that you never considered oh my gosh all of the things the goals I had set for this community are going to get blown up now because I got coaches I got to replace I got hours I got to fill and it's not a coincidence it's not luck that failure wasn't this thing that overwhelmed you this idea that my goals going to now be disrupted because this is this change is happening. Anytime you have change goals can be at risk but you consistently identify fantastic coaches you cultivate an environment where you encourage coaches to get better and you pay for them to get better. Like we I know you open your doors of CrossFit to come in and give give classes and you're always giving coaches the opportunity for additional learnings and that's always at the forefront of what you're trying to accomplish make the community better by making the coaches better. And you give them that space and so from the outside looking in maybe the inside looking on the in closer failure never bubbled up for you hey the like the community's going to suffer like I never saw you stress or worry that was going to be the case because and I think it's because you had just built this pipeline of values standards making sure you have great coaches available and in the community and connecting with great coaches and having fantastic people that might become coaches eventually friends and family you don't throw up like hey you didn't pay your $25 to drop in you open your doors you open the opportunity because you know it's a community I get it right am I it's your perspective so do you agree with that perspective? Are you gonna push back like I'm completely wrong and making stuff up I don't think you're wrong. Yeah I know it's been a stressful few weeks but it's worked out for us and I'm so excited for what's happening with the coaches that are leaving and I'm excited that good old Sam is joining us again for more hours.

New Chapter: Haircut & Lifting Program

SPEAKER_01 50:14

So a lot of new beginnings for you this week yeah even the haircut I just decided to go all in on all things new lifting program new haircut headed to the across the games not to complete but to hang out and meet the new CEO do all that stuff why why the new haircut oh realistically I just couldn't have a sweaty mop on my head anymore because if you ever have been to Florida in the summer you know that it's like walking into the swamps.

SPEAKER_04 50:47

It's interesting because you were like I'm gonna get my haircut done after this competition I'm gonna transition this new program after the competition lifting program after the competition I don't know I feel like you're in this new chapter this new me I don't know maybe I'm having a midlife crisis we didn't get a new car we didn't we already bought the house so we're not getting another new house we gotta play off dance here for a while the title of the podcast is odd it's an odd pairing cheese curds coffee you have cheese curds I'm the coffee and that I love cheese curds I don't know why this is odd. I don't know you you wouldn't pair cheese curds and coffee together. One might I might eat cheese curds every time I have the opportunity to have you ever paired cheese curds and coffee together have you sat down and go you know what today I need some cheese curds I need some coffee I like coffee every day and if I could get cheese curds every day the answer would be yes.

SPEAKER_01 51:47

Where are you going with this?

SPEAKER_04 51:49

We're gonna edit this out because I don't understand the this dynamic of the we are two different people even though we have shared values is where I was going with it. But I won't edit this out okay

Wrap-Up & Journal Recap

SPEAKER_04 52:00

so let's go ahead and wrap this up okay so if we you know I love journaling if we turn this into a journal lesson what did last week teach us you never really fail if it as long as you can learn something oh that's me dropping the mic two goals one is a goal for completion one is a goal for action or activity I love the process I think you love the process too you love the process I love the recital I love the final show that would explain why you like to be stayed light I just want to run on a dark road by myself yes that's fantastic yeah we're not the same I think they probably figured that out by time cheese curves coffee decaf coffee so what's one thing you learned about gold this last week that reinforced what's one thing that was reinforced about gold that you what's one thing that was reinforced this past week that you know about gold know to be true about gold there's different levels as you're getting there.

SPEAKER_02 53:48

I love it and it's not failure even if you didn't get it.

SPEAKER_04 53:53

I can't hear you what and it's not failure if you didn't get it it's not failure if you don't get to the reach the goal it's just uh learning point the data yeah something you can learn from all right I think that's it for this new first podcast episode that we're rolling back out and our commitment our goal is to be significantly more regular and consistent with our content so I know you don't love journaling so now this is how we journal together.

SPEAKER_01 54:27

It's like a step thank

Outro

SPEAKER_01 54:32

you everybody for hanging out this long I know this was a long episode where should they find us dear at Cheese Curts and Coffee on Instagram we are moving so by the time this is published it'll be under at Cheesecurts at Cheese Curts and Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 54:46

It'll be under Cheese Curts and Coffee on YouTube and the podcast wherever you get your normal content you can find us thanks for listening. We'll see you next time thanks bye that was great what did you think